• It’s hard to believe, but my oldest daughter is now in eighth grade and asking to go on her class trip.  In the past all school trips have been no more than a four-hour car ride away.  These trips have usually cost us in the range of two to five hundred dollars.  This year, however, her school decided to take the graduating class of children to New York for four days.  New York is quite a distance away from our home in Los Angeles and the price tag for the trip was a whopping $1500.  That’s right- fifteen hundred dollars! Did I mention that it’s for only four days?

    We spent time discussing this with her, and she surprisingly took it very well

    So, as the application deadline approached, my wife and I debated about whether or not we should let her go.  Aside from our safety concerns, we were also facing sticker shock from the hefty price tag.  Finally, on the night before the application and fee deadline, we sat down with our daughter and told her that we just couldn’t afford the trip.  She begged and pleaded, and said that she wanted to use her own money, and ask for early birthday and holiday gifts from her aunts, uncles and grandparents to help pay for the trip.  This led us to an un-escapeable truth- My wife and I felt that the money wasn’t the real issue.  We had given her that excuse because it was easier for us to say, but the reality was that we simply didn’t feel that this trip was a good use of our money or hers.  We explained to her that we felt we should do other, more charitable things with that money.  We spent time discussing this with her, and she surprisingly took it very well.  Much better than I would have done at her age!

    We are the parents, it’s our money, so we prioritize how we choose to spend it

    We’ve used the “We can’t afford it,” excuse in the past because it’s easier and isn’t completely untrue.  Yet we realize that, even on a budget, we are able to stretch ourselves to support causes or spend money on other things that are costly when we believe in them.  So, in order to avoid arguments about what we spend and ‘why is s/he getting this or that when you said we don’t have money’, we have decided to be honest and not hide behind the cost issue.  We are the parents, it’s our money, so we prioritize how we choose to spend it.  This can be harder to say and isn’t as easily accepted as saying that we can’t afford something, but it sends the kids a clear message.  This way they do not have false hopes of getting the money from another source and they do not begin to scrutinize how household money is spent.  Whether you have a little money or a lot, the important lesson to teach children is the value of how to use and spend your money wisely.