• “Hi dear/sexy/doll/handsome,” and whatever else you can think of.  It’s interesting to me how some people get totally offended by nicknames, or “pet names,” while others use them as a staple in their everyday conversation and think nothing of it.  Often it doesn’t matter whom they’re talking to as they will use it equally with anyone from their boss to the president of the United States.  Of course, there are scenarios where it can be harmless and sweet depending on the person and what region they’re from.  Yet, sometimes the complete opposite is true and it comes across as cold and offensive.  I’m often left thinking that either the person isn’t very good with names or doesn’t care enough to the take the time to learn mine.  Therefore, it’s easier for them to just refer to everybody by a descriptor instead of their real name.

    Now let me introduce you to my good friend Roy, who for lack of a better word is a “player” by all standards.  He’s in his 40’s, has never been married and his daily goal is essentially focused on finding someone with whom to “hook up.”  The stories he tells me are surreal and I cannot believe how many people have fallen victim to his games.  But hey, sometimes people  just want a wild adventure. He always calls everyone by nicknames such as “chief,” “boss” and “big man” for men and “sweetie,” ” honey” and “beautiful” for women.  

    Otherwise, he claims that it’s too hard for him to remember everyone’s real name.

    He adds that he often sends out mass text messages to his contacts using generic nicknames. That way, he callously explained, “It saves time, makes everyone happy and those on the receiving end don’t really know the difference,” which is pretty crazy, if you ask me!

    In my eyes, no matter how you put it, I think it’s disrespectful, condescending and impersonal when someone calls you by a descriptor and not your real name, unless you’re in a relationship or are very close to them.  It, it’s a form of “name calling,” equivalent to someone calling you “fatso,” “baldy” or “four-eyes”.  The fact that it appears to be positive in their eyes is insignificant.  The only exception of course, is if it is  done by someone with whom you’ve established a relationship and have mutually agreed that pet names are acceptable.  Then it’s sort of endearing and cute because you’re not worried whether the other person knows your name or not.  So, don’t be fooled or flattered by players throwing endearing names at you.  If they really cared and wanted to impress you, they’d learn to address you by your real name!